Let my start by saying that I have never been what I would call a “big drinker.”  My weight and height puts me in the permanent lightweight category when it comes to drinking alcohol. When I was in my twenties and early thirties I did my share of partying and some binge drinking. It was still pretty infrequent and I rarely bought alcohol to drink at home. Maybe wine from time to time. As I got older and started having babies, breastfeeding, etc. the drinking became less and less. So, it would really only take one drink for me to feel a buzz.  But, since I had started drinking I don’t think I had ever gone a whole year without alcohol. 

I should also tell you that my father was an alcoholic. I didn’t really understand this fully until I was an adult but in my memories of my childhood, I remember my dad always had a beer in his hand. I just thought he liked beer a lot! 

In November of 2018 we were invited by a colleague of my husband’s to go to a Recovery Yoga retreat in Costa Rica. Since the retreat was for people recovering from some sort of addiction, there would obviously be no drinking. I thought it would be weird. I am on vacation in an exotic place but no fancy drink in my hand with an umbrella!?!  But, no biggie because I am not a “big drinker” right? Then, one night of the retreat there was a dance party. It was designed to get us in touch with our chakras through dance. Now, I love to dance. I always have. But, at some point in my life I created the story that I needed alcohol to really cut loose and dance well.  So, I was kind of nervous and wasn’t sure how this would go. Well, let me tell you that this chakra dance party obliterated that for me. I never felt more free on the dance floor, and I had zero alcohol in my body. 

My husband came home from one of his weekend seminars (who can remember which one….there are soooo many) and he tells me about a guy who is into “body hacking” which seems to be the new term for trying to increase your performance and longevity through healthy living. Anyway, this guy says he got to where he is now but giving up one thing per year. One year he gave up coffee, the next year, sugar, the next year alcohol, etc.  I’ve always been a big believer in moderation so this all or nothing approach did not appeal to me much. But, I liked the idea on its merits. That seems like an easy way to get rid of one bad thing at a time until you adopt a very clean and healthy lifestyle. So, why did I decide to give up alcohol and not coffee or sugar? It was the Christmas holiday season of 2018. Over the course of those last days of December, I went to several get togethers, parties, holiday open houses, etc. And at every one there was alcohol. I drank at every one. Just a glass of wine or maybe two. Not really a lot. But, what I noticed was how absolutely AWFUL I felt the next day. Just one glass of wine left me with a hangover as if I’d drank a whole bottle of wine. After a few days of surviving through this, I thought, “Why am I doing this? I feel terrible!”  So, I decided that my new year’s resolution would be to give up alcohol. At first, I wasn’t necessarily planning to give it up forever. I just thought, “This is the year I stop drinking alcohol.”

So after a year of no drinking here’s what I have I learned: 

• There is a very heavy bias in our culture FOR drinking alcohol. Have you seen the studies that say alcohol is good for you?  Before you buy into it, take a look at who funds those studies. There is a good chance it is the alcohol industry.  But people like to post these and share them on facebook to justify their habits. I get it. If someone told me tomorrow that avocados are bad for us again, you bet I’d be looking for evidence to the contrary. That is confirmation bias. During my year of not drinking, I often found myself in a situation where alcohol was being served. When offered a drink I would simply say, “no thank you.” If pressed, I would say “I don’t drink.” 

  Funny things happen when you stop drinking. Or, maybe I should say, when you tell people that you don’t drink. The inevitable questions/comments come: “Why not?” “Oh I could never give up wine!” “Is it a problem if I have a drink in front of you?” “Why would you stop drinking, that’s crazy!”  The consumption of alcohol has become so ingrained in our culture that you have to explain why you DON’T consume a mind-altering substance! That is what is crazy! I don’t judge those who choose to drink. I am not saying I will never have another drink again. But, if I do choose to it will not be because I feel obligated or because I feel that I “need” it. It will be because maybe I want to enjoy a really good glass of wine on a special occasion. 

• The “mommy needs wine” culture is potentially dangerous.  I like a good meme as much as the next person. We moms need to be able to laugh about life with kids. It’s tough. So, it’s understandable that so many moms like to make jokes about needing wine to survive parenthood. But, one of the things that I have discovered over this last year is that this is a REAL problem for a lot more people than we realize. When a glass of wine “just to relax” turns into a bottle a night and more, this is not okay. I believe in healthy stress relieving mechanisms and real self care. Having a glass of wine to de-stress after your day is not self care. Going for a run is self care. Playing your favorite instrument is self care. Meditating is self care. Dancing to a great song is self care. Consuming alcohol of any kind is not self care.  Indulging now and then is fine. But, let’s not try to pretend that it is good for us. 
• I don’t miss drinking. When I retired from corporate life, I invited my friends to celebrate with my at a bar inside a nice restaurant. I thought well, “maybe I will have just one drink to fit in.”  After all, we were sitting at the bar! But, I didn’t even want one. I ordered a fancy mocktail instead and had a fabulous time hanging out with my friends. All with no hangover the next day. I can honestly say that I have not had even one drink, not even one sip, of alcohol in 2019. I am at a place in my life where there are plenty of things conspiring against my health and well-being. I want to stack the deck in my favor. If I don’t really want or crave alcohol, why would I keep drinking it? Now, when I am at an event where drinking alcohol is the norm, I’ll ask the bartender to make me a mocktail of their choice. Or, I’ll ask for a club soda with lime. It feels more grown up than ordering a soda, which I don’t typically drink anyway. It’s also slightly more fun than a plain glass of water. 

So, will I drink in 2020? I honestly don’t know. I don’t ever crave a drink enough to buy alcohol, that’s for sure. If offered at a party or get together will I imbibe? Maybe. The reason I gave it up still remains (i.e. I feel terrible after drinking). So, there’s not much incentive to indulge, in my mind. I know my husband is looking forward to drinking IPA again. So, I can at least be counted on as a designated driver. 

I enjoyed this little experiment of giving up one thing for an entire year. It’s not like any challenge I’ve taken on before. Will I be giving up something else in 2020? 

YES!

Stay tuned to find out what I chose to give up and how it’s going.